6/12/11

The rain, something about it soothes me, puts me at complete and utter peace with myself and my life. I feel content and peaceful. The sound of it falling outside calms me. Watching it fall from the beautiful sky reminds me that life is beautiful, and everything I have and everything that has happened to me is a blessing from God. I couldn't be more grateful or thankful for what I have in my life and how it has turned out. I feel like I've been trying to fight off a devil inside of me for so long that I forgot how to be genuinely happy but today, I feel that happiness that I've been missing, been searching for, for so long. I pray that this feeling doesn't fade. I can only hope that God has answered my prayers and has helped heal me and rid my soul and mind of the evil ways of the devil. I feel very in touch with myself, something has come over me that I have never felt before. This new feeling, I enjoy it. I finally feel like I have found myself again and know who I am supposed to be. Wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, but most importantly, me. For so long my life didn't make sense but now I feel that I've placed all the missing pieces together. Peace feels so different than what I'm used to feeling. I feel like I've finally healed and recovered from all the scars and memories that used to haunt me from my past. My hate is gone, I've let go. It took a long time, but it's gone. Tears fill my eyes as I look at my husband knowing that I'm not easy to deal with a lot of the time and I can't help but think what a lucky woman I am to have such a kind understanding caring man. My life is complete, and I am complete. What a phenomenal feeling.